JACK AND THE BEANSTALK | FESTIVAL THEATRE, EDINBURGH
★★★
“Slick, funny, fast and furious but story free…”
And so, as The King’s panto’s extended sojourn to its temporary home nears an end, this year’s Jack and the Beanstalk plays out on a spectacular set, first seen at the London Palladium two years ago and arguably even more imposing in the more intimate Festival Theatre.
Designed by Mark Walters, it’s a richly detailed, eye-catching kaleidoscope of colour on which the King’s Theatre’s much loved stars are instantly at home; legendary dame Allan Stewart, boo-some baddie Grant Stott and silly side-kick Jordan Young are all back doing what they do best, alongside Clare Gray, who continues the legacy of her much-missed dad Andy, Bonnyrigg’s Gail Watson, in her third ‘King’s’ panto, and principal girl, Amber Sylvia Edwards, returning for the second year in a row.
Together they make an all-star team of panto pals in this big, ballsy and frequently risqué evening of entertainment that’s high on humour and musical numbers, the highlight of which has to be a nostalgic trip down memory lane for Stewart and audiences alike, as he recounts his outings as the city’s longest running panto dame in song – it’s a fond reminder of the magnificent servant the 75-year-old has been to The King’s pantomime over more than three and a half decades.
One of the last traditional panto dames, Stewart, playing Auntie May McTrott (this year), is on fine form with all his signature moments in place; he has new impressions to reveal, a catchy reworking of Bette Midler’s Pretty Legs Great Big Knockers – or in Auntie May’s case ‘big boobies’. It a song that proves a nice precursor to the now familiar Poison Python tongue-twister routine, which finds Auntie May running back and forth across the stage, her ample, afore-mentioned bosom bouncing for laughs as she does – it may be gloriously simple physical comedy, but it works every time.
That said, it’s Young who proves the master of the tongue twister, and word-plays in general, his show recap another fine moment worthy of its applause, but this Jack is an uneasy hybrid of hero and silly son, who could do with more than a litany of corny gags and certainly more interaction with the kids watching, who adore him. That said, along with Edwards’ melodic, plucky Princess Jill and Watson’s wonderfully bolshy, menopausal Spirit of the Beans, it falls to Young to ensure the energy remains high, while Gray, as Pat the Cow, is a joy to watch and feels sadly underused.
Joining Stewart in Edinburgh’s Panto Hall of Legends, Stott’s baddies are now so lauded that the arrival of his Fleshcreep, another gem from his repertoire of big galoots, has the booing reverberating around the theatre before he has a chance to utter a word. His act two opener, meanwhile, I’m Just A Great Big Tidy, sung to the tune of Sweet Transvestite, is priceless.
Which brings us to the story, or rather lack of it. The citizens of Auchter Reekie live in the shadow of the giant in the sky, and with a Fum Fo Fi Fee he has sent his servant, Fleshcreep, to fetch the McTrott’s pet, Pat The Cow, and all the other animals of the land for him to feast on. Tricking Jack into selling Pat for a bag of magic beans, it’s not long before a giant beanstalk appears and, before they know it, the panto pals find themselves in the the City of Clouds and Stars where they must rescue Pat and defeat the giant. Before that though, the Spirit of the Beans and Princess Jill have a mythical ‘Scottish Variety Show’ to organise – an event that sees the story more or less put on hold.
Consequently, the combination of a very slight script by Harry Michaels and Stewart, with additional material by Matt Slack, Stott and Young, and Ed Curtis’ clinical direction leaves little opportunity for characters to fully cultivate their relationships with the audience as they race from number to number and routine to routine in a Christmas musical/variety show affair ticking off chosen panto elements along the way.
Of course, throughout its history, pantomime has been an evolving art form. Take a look at the historic postcards of Phyllis Dare as Cinderella in the first King’s panto in 1906, or at the records of the sometimes imported and later homegrown productions that followed. Water features, balletic interludes, 40 strong choruses, slapstick, sweetie showers and slosh routines, all once integral parts of the structure of pantomime have all but disappeared. Despite changes in emphasis, structure and style, however, the one that has remained constant until recently, was panto’s rich foundation of strong, meaningful storytelling. The fun bit for children (of all ages) and the essence and beating heart of any pantomime, it’s something this production of Jack and the Beanstalk appears to have forgotten.
Run ends 11 January 2026 Tickets HERE
